Old School Americana & Nostalgia


McDonald’s Hamburglar Sports New Ride to Promote Updated Menu Items

McDonald’s Hamburglar Sports New Ride to Promote Updated Menu Items

The infamous Hamburgular is back on the prowl as McDonald’s introduces their updated Big Macs and Double Cheeseburgers. In 2020, the fast food giant embarked on a quest to revolutionize two of its top-selling burgers, and now culinary changes are making their grand entrance at Golden Arches locations across the nation.

McDonald’s culinary wizards have sprinkled their magic on the legendary Big Mac! With extra sauce, fluffier buns that keep the heat in, and a special ritual of cooking fewer beef patties at a time, each patty gets VIP treatment. Burger fans can also expect minced white onions that happily soak up all those juicy, mouthwatering flavors.

However, fast food lovers can’t simply enjoy these updated delights in peace. Apparently., not only has McDonald’s allowed early parole for criminal burger mastermind the Hamburglar, but they also gave him a getaway car!

Tariq Hassan, Chief Marketing and Customer Experience Officer at McDonald’s admitted they were behind the dastardly burger thief’s new lease on life. “McDonald’s built a legacy on serving delicious burgers, but anytime we have an opportunity to make the best even better, we take it,” Hassen said in a statement.

“It’s no surprise these changes caught the attention of our biggest burger fan – the Hamburglar,” Hassan admitted.

However, for some reason… McDonald’s seems to be encouraging the world’s most infamous beef thief. “We’re excited for fans to join in on the fun as they look for him on his burger-stealing spree. You never know where he’ll pop up next,” Hassan added.  

Hamburglar’s “Burgercuda”, the Getaway Car Sure to be Seen at McDonald’s Around the Country

On can’t help but suspect that perhaps McDonald’s corporate elite are financing the Hamburglar as some sort of marketing blitz. The criminal mastermind is also sporting a new, custom getaway car. Dubbed the “Burgercuda”, the tricked-out 1970 Plymouth reportedly smells delicious.

It seems that the Hamburglar plans to use his “Burgercuda” for the ultimate burger heist at multiple Mcdonald’s across the United States.

However, law-abiding citizens are encouraged to report sightings of Hamburglar. The burger-crazed criminal is being brazen with his car decor. The custom car features Hamburglar’s iconic black-and-white stripes on the interior and exterior, along with his logo and red accents. Burger-loving details include bun-like hubcaps, a cheeseburger-disguised spare tire, and a hidden burger warmer in the center console.

However, the most blatant insult is on the back of his new vehicle. Hamburglar’s catchphrase, “RBL RBL” is displayed on the hood scoop and license plate. Witnesses of the dastardly beef baron in action should report any sighting here for a possible reward.